An (obvious) explanation

I've physically had literally an actual barrage of emails/comments etc asking why I signed off my last post with an expletive.

Let me explain for those of you not clever enough to work it out: 'S***' stands for Stephen (the 'S') and Sparkes (the '***'). Stephen Sparkes. My name. The asterisks look very much like sparks to me and I really didn't expect to have to spell it out to you.

I know the blogosphere means my audience is infinitely wider than before but I really didn't expect the practical upshot of that would be to have an audience of yelping primates.

Sometimes I despair, really I do.

S***

Bye bye, BB!

So C4 have cancelled Big Brother. Oh no! How will I ever live? NOT! The only thing that makes me sad about it is the fact that we've got to suffer through a whole series more before we pull the plug on the life-support machine that has sustained our aged sibling for so (too) long.

I don't get what people ever saw in it. Essentially it's just people sitting in a house...watching people sitting in a house. I mean, what is wrong with your life if that's enough to keep you entertained? I was completely bored by the time series eight was done. Now I can only really stomach the Friday shows, and if Siavash goes this week I'm never watching again.

It's time to say, "Bye bye, BB!"

S***
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P.S. If when it's all over Davina's in need of something to keep her occupied, send her my way, if you know what I mean! (But don't tell Mrs Sparkes!)
Is she pregnant at the moment?

Short(bread)-tempered Yanks

So a hatred has built up across the pond for us Britishers. First we free AbdulBassett's Liquorice Allsorts (or whatever his name is!!!) and now it turns out Michael Jackson's made himself ill getting ready for all the shows we're making him do here. Jees! Maybe the Yanks should just get over themselves.
I seem to remember they freed a bunch of people who went on to rob and kill tens of thousands. Emancipation proclamation anyone? Exactly. Where Bertie's gone now they actually seem to really like him, so maybe it's worked out well for all concerned. Uncle Sam - SHUT IT!

Today's events

Oh god. Politics! When will it ever end? It's days like today that make me wonder whether politics has actually ever started.

Pulling a UWE (it was near Bristol)

Typical. Just turning off the M4 onto the southbound M5 when Paul, our nine-year-old, gets word via his iPhone of the serious health threat currently facing the county of Devon. Long-story-short, we pull over at Easton-in-Gordano and decide not to risk it for the sake of Michael Ancram, our Irish Setter.

Bad news for the Devon tourist board, good news for you, blogfans!


Got back to Sparkes Towers to an absolute feast of Sightings. It's emerged that about seven years ago, Britain and the US invaded Iraq, as revealed in this excellent Guardian exposé. Now it may well be too early to tell, but this particular political commentator reckons that some countries might not take too kindly to this news. Remember how quickly we all got antsy about this?

Your thoughts please.

Away!

Off for a couple of weeks staycation at Chateau Sparkes in South Devon. Mrs Sparkes has requested I leave the bbry at home so this’ll have to be the last post for a while. Not sure I’ll cope!
In the meantime, I’ve come across a few other sites that’ll serve up a satisfactory slice of news-pie while I’m gone. Think of these as microwaveable pasta dishes to sate your hunger while your wife (in this case, me) has gone to look after her diseased elderly parents for a fortnight. I’ve left a lasagne in the fridge, make sure you eat it before Sunday:

Timothy Wallace
Iain Dale’s Diary
Broadcasting Corporation